Clueless and breathless
by dontstraytoofar
Summary: A soaked Hanna standing on her porch at 1:00 o'clock in the morning plus questions with no answers equals Spencer being clueless and a little bit breathless.
1. Understanding

**Authors note: I had a sudden urge to write spanna after catching up with pretty little liars recently. I'm not sure why but i love this paring! review and tell me what you think! ill post another chapter later ill see how it goes xx enjoy (plus my other story will be updated shortly i just needed to get this out of my system)**

"You have no idea, do you?"

She's been at this stump before. Multiple times actually.

And of course she _knew, _she was Spencer Hastings for god sake. Of course she knew what Hanna meant. She knew what Hanna's heart had been through; the lies, betrayal, the grief. And she definitely knew what Hanna was feeling.

Its funny though, you'd think Spencer had learned from the past stumps in her life. You'd think she learned that she's wrong.

Yes, Spencer Hasting's: wrong. _So incredibly _wrong.

From Hanna's point of view, she knew nothing. _Nothing. _She had never felt the burn of alcohol run its course down her throat. The feeling of an empty stomach and wanting nothing else but emptying it more. The overwhelming feeling of hate one person can have for themselves.

And the drowning feeling of love she had with a brunette girl in front of her. One that just didn't understand.

And she prayed. Literally prayed for Spencer to understand. To just _feel _what she felt on a daily basis. Hanna could feel hate and love at the same time. Scorn and adoration. Happy and sad. Euphoria and melancholy. And it just accumulated and accumulated until she found her self in front of Spencer's door, drenched from head to toe from the rain, asking Spencer to just _get it. _

_"_Hanna, of course I do." Spencer thought she did, thought she understood and had an idea of what Hanna was trying to convey. For Hanna though, that statement was what did it. Sad chocolate brown eyes looking at her saying she understood, like Spencer was looking at a lost puppy. Hanna's fist clenched and hair stuck to the sides of her face as the emotions spilled. Rain poured harder and words were screamed. "No. No you don't! You don't know the first thing about me Spencer Hastings!"

Hurt was shown in Spencer's eyes and thrown her way and it hit Hanna square in the face. It was steeled though, it couldn't penetrate her now wet stoned face. She reached out with her hand and it looked like she already knew it was going to be smacked away. "Hanna-" Spencer's hand was pushed away as foreseen and it just seemed to make the rain pour harder and Hanna's eyes to spill over.

"Please, I don't need your sympathy right now." Hanna's words seethed, and Spencer swallowed poison as she watched tears mix with rain. It seemed being outside in the storm for so long, with the cold nipping their skin was the tipping point for both teenagers.

"Then why are you here, Hanna? Why did you bother even talking to me?" Hanna's hands went to her face and covered her eyes and forehead and in one swift motion she whipped them down and yelled, rain splattering the ground from the force. "BECAUSE YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND!" Spencer exploded with her, just so confused and lost as she finally didn't know the reason or answer to a riddle. Spencer laughed, a confused chuckle.

They were yelling now over the rain and wind as two great forces went against each other. "UNDERSTAND WHAT HANNA!? JUST. TELL. ME.!" Rain from their lips left their faces as the yelling drowned out the natural storm around them. Both eyes were searching the others. Looking for answers and anything to douse the fires in their lungs.

They were both crying now, both wet as Spencer had stepped out in the rain moments ago. Heavy chests and aching hearts filled the space between them and neither could stop the heat. Its like they thought if they opened their mouths enough and let rain in, that it would put out the fire inside them.

Hanna was the first to notice that it wouldn't really work. So she whispered; hoping fervently that if less oxygen got to the fire, it would slowly burn out.

"You have no idea, do you?" Repeating the earlier question her icy blue eyes softened and the rain slowed to a gently trickle. Spencer's chest was still heaving, feeding more oxygen to the heat. She was openly crying now, mixed feelings invading her mind. She wiped her nose with the sleeve around her fingers and her shoulders shook.

She was so _confused. _So utterly jumbled up and her brain didn't know what to do. She was feeling hate and love. Scorn and adoration. Happy and sad. Euphoria and melancholy. And she wished Hanna could understand. To just get it in this one moment.

Its funny how humans work.

"No, Hanna. No I don't." She shook her head repeatedly, with her hand still up to her face. Defeat laced her words and she wanted to just fall into her and let Hanna dry her tears. She just needed Hanna to understand the overwhelming love she had for those blue eyes and blonde hair that stood before her.

"Spence?" The brunette in question looked up with blood shot eyes. Hair still wet and clingy. "I know you hate not knowing, or being confused. But all these emotions in me are too much. I just need someone to get it. The sadness, the loss, and the love? Spencer it's bursting out of me and its _so hard _reeling it in. Its so hard." Hanna's voice broke at the end, cracking at certain letters. They were locked in tearful gaze and neither could seem to turn away.

"It kills me keeping it from you, Spence." And thats what did it. Eyes looking at her like she finally understood. She fell, shooting forward into pillars of arms and burying her nose into the blonde hair she loved so much. Hanna wrapped her arms so tightly around Spencer's body she felt like they were merging into one bundle of feelings.

Her face met with brown full hair as she buried her head into the crook of Spencer's neck. Standing there and listening to each others laboured breaths, neither could move.

"I'm guessing you get it now?" Breathless laughs fell from Spencer's lips as Hanna's voice reached her ears. Her grip tightened and she sighed letting her shoulders droop. "Yeah, I get it Han"

And of course she _knew. _She was Spencer Hastings for god sake. Of course she knew what Hanna meant.

Yes, Spencer Hastings: In love. _So incredibly _in love.


	2. Coffee and kisses

**Enjoy next chapter! **

"Um, Han? This is all heartfelt and sweet but I'm freezing my ass off." Chuckling, Hanna pulled back meeting Spencer's eyes while sniffing and wiping her nose. Raking her hand through wet hair, she winced while looking at the drying ground. "Ugh, I must look like a mess." She felt another hand on her cheek softly swiping the left over tears and mascara, she looked up seeing Spencer's eyes on her face with a look of adoration.

And I think Hanna's heart melted a little that day.

Smiling and cupping the blondes face in her hands she tilted her chin so they were eye to eye again. Spencer's lips lifted and her teeth showed, and Hanna was left wondering if it was suddenly Summer or that Spencer's smile was that bright.

"A beautiful mess, Hanna Marin. God you're so beautiful." Spencer's eyes were roaming her face, to each freckled and laugh line her eyes flickered to and fro memorising each detail. Smiling with her dimples, Hanna grabbed one of the wrists at her cheek and smoothed her thumb over Spencer's palm.

She couldn't stop staring at the tall girls lips, so perfect and pink…they looked soft…like cotton candy…one taste wouldn't hurt…

"Hanna? Hello, earth to Hanna?" Hanna shook her head from her clouded thoughts and blinked away the haze. She sheepishly smiled while taking a small step backwards from where her body seemed to gravitate forwards. With dripping wet hair and smeared mascara, to Hanna, Spencer had never looked more beautiful.

She was so raw and _her _that the blonde couldn't fathom how she was standing here and not randomly floating into the air like the angel she was. That little thought confused her. It seemed so poet-y. And Hanna Marin was _not _a poet, but it seemed Spencer Hastings could bring out the mushiness and angst all at once.

Deciding she was too cold to be standing on a porch at 3:00 in the morning, Hanna leaned around to open the front door and she shivered as the wood clicked open. "Hot chocolate?" Spencer's brown eyes seemed to droop and her smile faltered, were they not just having an intense moment? Like one of those intense rom-coms where they kiss passionately in the rain and live happily ever after?

She took her lip between her teeth and sighed. "Nope. Coffee" And it made Hanna smile again and roll her eyes. Of course, Spencer's drug.

"What?" Spencer's voice reached her and Hanna talked while continuing into Spencer's kitchen. "Nothing, you just practically breathe that stuff."

Scoffing, Spencer opened the cupboard and grabbed two mugs. "You can't breathe a liquid, Hanna" The blonde frowned and mock pouted. "Why do you always ruin it for me?" The other girl just smiled and pushed across the table a now steaming mug of coffee. Smiling gratefully she sipped and a somewhat awkward silence enveloped them.

They did just, you know..confess there love for one another. But still, awkward silence is inevitable I guess and Spencer shifted from foot to foot trying to find words in that vast library of vocabulary that is her brain.

Moments later drumming her fingers on her coffee cup, Hanna threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes. "Okay enough, Spence we have to discuss the rhinoceros in the room." Seemingly overcome with panic at her feelings and confusion at Hanna's wording, Spencer clenched her fingers around her mug.

"What? Hanna first of all its 'elephant in the room' and second of all no we don't" Taken aback by Spencer's sudden change of mood, Hanna looked hurt.

I guess rom-com movies are not reliable.

"Okay that's bullshit and you know it" Turning around to the sink, Spencer poured the rest down the drain and lent over it with both hands either side. Walking up beside her, Hanna let her hand rest on a tense shoulder. The blonde noticed how they drooped when her hand lightly rubbed at the skin. How a little sigh left Spencer's lips at the touch. And she then realised how much they needed each other, even if it was their mere presence.

"Spence, whats wrong? Please tell me." Running her hand through her hair the girl in question turned around and against her will a small tear was tracking her cheek. Wiping at it Spencer's voice came out small and it made Hanna realise how easily broken she could become.

"Could- could you just hold me Han?" Hearing it crack so helplessly and fragile, Hanna immediately gathered the mess that was in front of her and let her grab on for dear life. Her own heart broke for the both of them.

"Shhh, sweetheart everything's okay. Everything's fine" Spencer's nails dug painfully into Hanna's shoulder blade as she buried deeper into her. Stroking the chocolate locks she heard a quiet whisper. "Spence honey, you're gonna have to speak up." Hanna spoke softly, whispering and kissing the side of the other girls head. Her voice louder now Spencer spoke, still buried in her favourite place atop soft skin and hair that smelled of strawberries.

"I love you. I love you i love you i love you" Leaning back and drying her tears Spencer looked into sapphire eyes and smiled. "I don't know when or how or why, but I love you and its the best feeling and I have no idea why I'm crying but I do know that I love you and now I'm rambling please stop me Han cause if you don't i'll just keep saying I love y-"

Her nervous ramblings were cut short as she felt soft lips and warm hands on her face and mouth. She could feel tingles up her spine and fire on her lips but the butterflies in her stomach were light, and they fluttered about tickling her insides. Hanna's hands traced lightening around the sides of her face and neck and Spencer let a moan out of her lips that ignited a fire of her own in Hanna's stomach.

They both had never felt more alive as they breathed each other in, lips upon lips and desperate hands seeking more as they traced arms, bodies and got tangled in damp hair. Hanna's tongue filled Spencer's mouth and neither could prevent the deep sounds of pleasure that filled the room.

They were both tasting ambrosia, and neither wanted to stop.

Hanna backed up Spencer till her back lightly hit the kitchen counter, with bodies pressed together and hands on anothers hips they could both feel the building pressure between them. Finding a small breakthrough in the haze that was Hanna Marin, Spencer took one last taste of heaven and reluctantly broke free.

Both panting heavily and a mere centimetre apart with bodies still moulded together Spencer broke the silence, her husky voice breathing words. "Wow. That was…" Swallowing, Hanna nodded finding words and licking her lips getting the last lingering taste of coffee and Spencer.

"I know." Amazing. Wonderful. Fucking fantastically hot. Deep. Emotional. Sexy. Intense. Did she mention hot? All these words ran their course through Hanna's mind but she just stared into Spencer's swirl of brown eyes and bit her lip. Spencer stared back equally in awe and love not wanting words to fill the space of peaceful quite.

"What now?" She felt rather than heard Hanna's voice and she moved a blonde stray hair out of her face. "I don't know, but I sure as hell am never forgetting that kiss" Blue eyes shone and Hanna laughed kissing the side of Spencer's mouth. "Me either. I don't think I could even if I tried."

They were smiling till their cheeks hurt until Spencer's eyebrows drew together and she frowned. "Did I _really _just pour perfectly good coffee down the sink!?"

And Hanna laughed while looking adoringly at the caffeine addicted woman in front of her. "You can't help it can you, Spence?" She was pouting now, a cute little frown as she mumbled while crossing her arms. "The things you do for love."

A smile stretched across Hanna's full lips.

Ah, yes. The things you do for love.


End file.
